I have always had a deep love for birds. Even as a kid I somehow convinced my parents that we needed some geese (to protect our 25 chickens…). My amazing powers of manipulation and cuteness paid off and we became the proud owners of two baby geese. At first it was the best thing that had ever happened to me. (From the perspective of a 10 year old. It was right up there with sliding down the stairs in a pillow case.) They were cute and cuddly. They ran around peeping. I loved my geese. Remember the movie fly away home? Where the goslings imprint on the girl forming a life long bond that transcends the distance of migration. Unfortunately this was not my experience. As my cute and cuddly buddies grew up they began to develop a loathing hatred for all living things. Our yard went from Fly Away Home to Jurassic Park. My former joyful adventures across the yard with my goose buddies were replaced by horror filled sprints to the car in an effort to escape the barrage of pecking and biting. And did I mention the sound??? Some birds have beautiful melodic songs. Not geese. The sounds of nails on a chalkboard, a chorus of dying cats, metal on metal. This made us very popular with our neighbors… You would think that this would dampen my love for these geese, but no. It only intensified my desire to show them that I really cared and loved them… It was my will against their heartless black souls. The geese and I never became friends. It was a 6 year battle in which the geese constantly triumphed.
Fast forward several years: enter Xochie.
Xochie was a whole new bundle of joy. She had been my grandmas bird for almost 20 years and she (grandma) decided to give her to me. The fact that she was so willing to give away a bird companion that she’d had for almost 20 years should have been my first clue that Xochie was a depraved soul. My family and I are convinced that she is possessed. And until last week I thought she was an African Grey. (despite the fact that there isn’t a trace of grey on her) But thats my issue….. Xhochie had a particular contempt for my mom which provided my brother and I hours of entertainment as we would set the parrot on the floor and watch her run across the house after mom. Xhochie’s personality is best summed up in the following pictures:
It’s been a long hard road but I’ve finally come to see the light:
Birds are not our friends.
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